Where to begin... I guess I will start with my fertility appointment. The doctor was ok. He was kind enough to explain about my Polycystic Ovarian syndrome. Since I am a "teacher" he quizzed me, which made me feel stupid and that I was being treated like an idiot. It is nice to know what is going on in my body but don't treat me like an idiot. He did check to see if I had ovulate (which I hadn't) so we could start a cycle right away. I started Femara again while we were on our vacation. My doctor wants me to do some Follicle Stimulating Hormone shots and 2 other medicines but our insurance won't cover it and it will cost us almost $400. We don't have anywhere near that much so I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor to see what he wants us to do. I'm supposed to start those meds on tuesday. I will do a Dye Test on wednesday to see if there are any blockages in my tubes or anything. On thursday, I have a follicle scan to see how my body is reacting to the meds. So lots of tests and things. The doctor made it sound like I was an easy case and that if this didn't work, we would try IVF.
Emotionally and mentally, I'm really really struggling. I've been to the temple, fasted, prayed and received blessings. I don't feel that I've really gotten any answers or comfort. I've hit rock bottom. I don't know what else to do. I want to give up but I really want a baby so I'm feeling really stuck. I feel like my faith is so low. I have a close friend that is struggling with getting pregnant and she is so optimistic and so trusting in Heavenly Father. Right now, I'm not there. I have very little hope that I'll get pregnant. Nothing has worked. We keep getting hit with road blocks. I keep feeling like Heavenly Father is telling me no, which makes me want to give up even more. People tell me that He has a plan and that things will happen when it's supposed to happen. Those things don't help me anymore. I don't like hearing those things. I'm not sure how much more I can handle. Any prayers, words of advice or anything really would be very helpful. Thanks for all the love and support that everyone has given so far. I really appreciate it.
